Posted in General Posts on 1/2/2012
I am a single someone who has never been in a serious
relationship. For some reason this past year, the Lord decided that he was
going to teach me more about relationships and make me very aware of the relationships
all around me. And so, I have been keener in my observations of these
said relationships. Maybe it's because I'm at a point where I'd like
to be in one and so my observations have been heightened, or maybe it's because
everyone seems to be in a relationship now, or maybe it's because God has a purpose in it. In any case, God
has taught me a lot more about His heart, about the ups and downs of relationships, and how it's no
easy task to enter into and continue on in one.
I have learned a lot about relationships in 2011.
So the following are tidbits of wisdom that God has taught
me this past year about relationships, about myself, and about what to look for
in a future someone of some nature. This is obviously not an exhaustive list, but here are a few things:
1.
Communication is so important.
2.
You have to be secure in Christ and your identity in Him and know and
love yourself prior to entering a relationship.
3.
Submission is difficult but so good. You
constantly have to honor the other person and surrender the selfishness that so
often creeps in.
4.
It does no good to try to make something happen.
Wait to be pursued, girls. God's got it.
5.
It's a deeper (human) commitment than I will ever know
until I know through experience.
6.
It's scary as hell (or at least it seems that
way).
7.
Trust is huge. I feel like love and trust are synonymous,
or at least should be.
8.
I have to have someone I have fun with but who
can also be serious when we need to be serious.
9.
You should be better together than you are
apart-both for the Kingdom of God and for being more fully alive.
10. Relationships
are a lot of work.
11. But
they can be worth it.
I think a lot of these things I already knew, at least to
some degree. And I will tuck them away and continue on observing (I'm not a
creeper, I promise!) and store away more wisdom in my heart, in case for
whatever reason it becomes useful and relevant information.
*And I am writing blogs like this because they're more personal,
about what's on my heart and things God has been teaching me. And feel free to comment but I would
appreciate the, "oh you'll find someone someday, hunnie," comments to
be kept to a minimum (eh hem, grandma). Thanks. I didn't write this blog for
that reason. :)
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Posted in General Posts on 1/1/2012
Robert Kennedy
once said, "There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I
dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"
In this New Year full of resolutions and renewed resolve,
instead of asking why things are the way they are, let's begin to think of what could be and what should be, dream, and act
on those dreams asking, why not?
Why not see the possibilities instead of just the obstacles?
Why not see a child God loves and a future teacher or farmer
when we look into young eyes instead of just a hungry child?
Why not see a man full of potential and talents ready to be
employed instead of just a beggar on the street?
Why not see the world and its people as ready and waiting to be redeemed instead of one full of poverty, suffering, and
despair?
Why not embrace Christ's vision for each of us as
individuals with irreplaceable lives to offer the Kingdom of God instead of sitting in fear or
apathy saying we have nothing to give?
I have lived in Kenya about half a year now. Out team is away
for the holidays to be with our families, but the Lord is already speaking
to me about this next season, this coming year.
I know for me personally (and I assume for my team as well)
that God is saying that this will be a year of more.
More giving of myself, my time, my money, my talents, and my
resources to the Lord.
More of Him. More of Him responding with more of His
support, more faith, more power, more presence, more resources.
And more dreams-not just for IDP in Camp Vision but for
others in Kenya, in the US and in the world. More impact.
So in this New Year, start off by asking why not? both for
yourself and for this world.
Begin to dream big and see the potential and the
possibilities.
You can do a whole
lot more than you think, trust me.
Let's stop using our
inability as an excuse for inaction.
We have the fullness
of God inside of us, the Kingdom of God within us.
All you have to do
is start by offering yourself.
Why not?
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Posted in General Posts on 10/11/2011
Be
prepared. This is definitely not a fluffy, everything's-good-in-my-world blog.
There are
a lot of things that are just difficult about living in a different place and
different culture than the one you grew up in or are used to.
Sometimes
I just need to be real about some things that I deal with living here in Kenya.
So here's a little bit of insight into what goes on in my head pretty much
every day and some of the struggles, burdens, and heartache I experience on a
daily basis living here, that are a lot of times, directly related to my skin color...
Sometimes
I hate the color of my skin. Sometimes I hate being white and all that is
associated with that living here.
I get so
frustrated when I am judged in the opposite way almost, because of my skin
color. It's like reverse discrimination or something.
It breaks
my heart in more than one way when kids follow me. It breaks my heart that they
are hungry. But it also breaks my heart that they follow me because I am white and that signals a thought that I must have a
lot and will then surely give them something-food, shillings, my watch...
Sometimes
my stomach churns when I hear the word, Mazungu, even though I hear it often.
Sometimes
I wish we were all color blind. Sometimes I don't like the 'responsibility'
that comes with my skin color.
Sometimes I hate all the "good" things that accompany my skin
color. Being ushered to the front row at church, being served first at different
gatherings, being given nicer accommodations or faster service-all the while
feeling trapped, unable to refuse this treatment because of cultural
hospitality or the risk of offending people...
Sometimes I feel used here. Sometimes people come (even friends
here) and ask for things. Sometimes I get so frustrated when people strike up a
conversation with me, with the goal of getting me to do something for them or
buy something for them.
And as a
relational person, sometimes it's hard to feel like people don't see me or want
me for me, they want what I have...
Sometimes, I just can't handle all these things and wish I
could fade more into the background here, blend in better. Sometimes I wish I
could sit on my front lawn without being approached to purchase tortillas or
jewelry...
Sometimes, I think things can't change, and I want to stop
fighting to change them. Sometimes, I just want to be free to hand out things
to everyone who asks, to everyone I see in need.
Sometimes, I hate the system, hate that, at times, I
contribute to it, and hate that I even think this way. Because ultimately, it's
people we are talking about here.
And sometimes, I make it altogether too complicated when Jesus
said it's pretty simple. He lived it and outlined it pretty well in His word. Love one
another. Serve one another. Honor one another. Love in deed and truth and keep
doing these things even when it's hard, even when people use you, hurt you or fail to
see you for who you really are...
But all the time, I just need grace--grace in this process, grace
for the frustration and burdens, grace for the person involved, grace for me.
Grace for life and grace for the moment. Grace for each individual situation. Grace to continue to give of myself and to serve.
And this grace transcends skin color and my frustration and my
mistakes. It is this grace that we all, myself especially, don't deserve.
God, thanks for your grace...
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Posted in General Posts on 9/25/2011
Our team driving down to the camps and being greeted by...
Once in a great while getting everyone together and taking a
team pic!
Loving on and holding children
Playing with kids
Naomi
Spending time with women I love and helping with employment
listening to people's stories and encouraging them/being encouraged
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Posted in General Posts on 9/25/2011
We posted a team blog with updates on what God has been doing here in Kenya and updates about the progress in each of the five areas we are working on. In case you missed it, here's that blog with pictures!
We are now the proud owners of a vehicle!
This vehicle not only saves us from a 2 hour walk each way to the IDP
camp, but it also has allowed us to transport pipes, which will bring
water to the camp. We are still waiting on the Polish Embassy to install a pump in another camp, but the pipe work is ready.
We have been gathering information and documentation in hopes to have
Habitat for Humanity partner with us in getting land and homes for these
families.
Several of the women in the camp have joined a sewing project called
Thread of Hope, which teaches them sewing skills and employs them to
make skirts. This is a wonderful way for them to be able to provide for
their children. We are in conversation about partnering to start an
adjunct business with them.
In regards to the biomass charcoal project, we have collected sawdust and progress is being made toward making a working press.
The local church has been collecting funds to build a community center
in the camps that would serve the purposes we also envisioned. They have
purchased land, built a fence around it, and have finished the toilets.
Throughout this whole process, we have been intentionally building relationships with the men, women and children in the camp. We can't wait to begin diving into more discipleship soon!
Some days it seems things are moving slowly, or "pole pole" as they say
here. On those days it is good to take a look at the bigger picture and
see the ways in which God is moving and things are progressing. We are
depending on God to keep providing and would appreciate your continued
prayers in each of these areas!
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Posted in General Posts on 8/29/2011
Opposition, my friends, is real.
As sons and daughters of God, we have a real enemy whose
intentions are to mess up our lives and to try to mess up who we are becoming
and what we are doing in the Kingdom.
Don't believe me? Just read 1 Peter 5:8 or ask me about the
last month and a half of my life...
My team and I have experienced some crazy, real opposition.
Apparently, someone doesn't like what we are doing here in Kenya.
Someone doesn't like it when we pursue God's dreams. And apparently, there are
a lot of ways that that someone can try and mess things up.
If he's not attacking our team directly, he will go for
relationships within our team or with those outside our team, trying to divide.
And maybe sometimes the Lord allows the opposition, allows the sifting...
Either way, it's not all bad news...
The good news is, it's for our strengthening and it
increases our faith. And dependency increases because we've got to trust Him: that He is good, that He will lead us through, and to keep our sanity...
Christ overcame. And we overcome and are overcoming.
The Lord gave me this picture last night of a sparrow,
breaking free from its cage. The cage was lifted, and the sparrow flew away, free. And that sparrow is me! I am uncaged!
I am no longer bound!
No longer bound by all kinds of opposition. No longer bound by my circumstances. No longer bound by what
happens to me. No longer bound by what I wish would happen to me...
No longer bound by anything! Ah, sweet Freedom. Hey, opposition--try as you may, but you cannot and will not keep us down. You are actually making us stronger, and the Kingdom is going to come more forcibly through us anyway.
Maybe this is just for me, but I think it's pretty good news that I can walk in and claim the freedom that Christ has already offered me--in any situation and in any place. I just have to choose it...
"For freedom Christ has set us free..." Galatians 5:1
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Posted in General Posts on 8/4/2011
Reuniting is one of my favorite things, especially when it's
with friends who live on another continent and are ones you haven't seen in... over a year!
We have been to the camps a handful of times now. But every time my friend, Salome, has not been there. I have gotten to spend time
with her girls, but I had yet to see her.
Until today... We were reunited!
Salome is one of my best friends in Camp Vision. She and her girls mean so much to me. She is next to me in the picture above, and her girls are Mary to her left, Naiomi to my right, and Hannah on the far right.
Every time I have come, Salome's girls run up to me yelling, Kelliiiiiiiiii! It is one of the happiest things in the world :)
I got to sit and catch up with Salome today as she did laundry. One of her girls made me chai, and I just got to sit outside their home and be with them. She brought out a soap container I had given her last year when I left, and told me, "Every day I look at this, and it reminds of you. And every day I pray for you." Wow. What an amazing friend.
This has been one of my favorite moments since we arrived here. I can't wait for the day soon where this is a normal day for us, that we get to go down to the camps almost every day and build these relationships again.
Today I also got to reunite with the little girl who always always always found me when we would go to the camps last year.
Susan!!!
Here is a picture of she and I taken today, and beside it is one from last year. She has grown so much!
Reuniting really is such a sweet sweet thing :)
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Posted in General Posts on 7/27/2011
TIA: This is
Africa...
If you are a
missionary or have traveled to Africa, you probably have heard the phrase, TIA:
This is Africa. If you haven't, let me fill you in. There are some things that
are amazing about being here and some things that are just funny and/or
different. These are the unique things we love that make us say, TIA: this is
Africa, and we all nod in understanding. It's just a different way of life
here, and it's a beautiful thing!
Here's a little
insight into our daily lives here...
After we have
already eaten and are really too full to eat any more, the mommas here insist
on feeding us. TIA....
Matt orders
takeout from a restaurant, and it comes all lumped together in a plastic bag...
TIA
We pay 80 or 90
shillings for a whole meal (less than $1) and compare the price of everything
we buy to a meal at this restaurant, Mama Chikus... TIA
After driving
around the crazy parts of Nairobi at night and have thought you clearly expressed
yourself to the driver on where to take you, 45 minutes later you can still not
be at your desired location because he has decided to take you somewhere else..
TIA
Oh,
communication here... TIA
Apparently
monkeys attack girls, and it is not uncommon to see big ones at schools... TIA
Most days, we
are walking along the road or sitting in our room and we can hear an African
choir singing--They sound like angels... TIA
People
unapologetically just stare/glare at us, even after we glance at them a few
different times... TIA
We know people
are talking about us when we hear the word, mazungu... TIA
And we can't do
anything about it because we don't understand what they are saying--yet...TIA
Avocados cost 5
shillings, which is less than 10 cents... TIA
Five year-olds
walk to school by themselves... TIA
And it is
perfectly acceptable for us to walk hand in hand with school kids we just met
along the road... TIA
People freak
out when you walk a dog here, apparently... TIA
Greeting
everyone you see on the road with, Jambo!, is more the norm than the
exception.. TIA
It is not
uncommon to have random people at your house all the time, and/or sleeping at
your house or on your lawn (the guys can testify to this one!)... TIA
Yup, this is
just part of our daily life here... :)
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Posted in General Posts on 7/22/2011
Perspective can make or break us. It can shift our attitude, which shifts the decisions we make and the way we choose to live.
It's important to see things from God's perspective.
It's easy for me to get a one-track mind and go toward a dream the Lord has given me. In this case, it's living in Kenya and wanting to start up what we have been planning with Camp Vision. But I think a one-track mind can lead to loss of perspective and less space for God to move. And anything extra, anything that seems to inhibit or take time away from the dream becomes a hassle or source of frustration.
Honestly, it has been frustrating for me to be in Kenya already a week and a half and not be able to go down to the camp daily. I can see the people the Lord has given me a huge heart for, but I have spent time with them only twice.
But the Lord has been telling us to have patience with this continual process. And he has been changing and renewing my perspective. He has been saying: yes, you are here to help the IDPs, but they are not the sole ones I have called you to love.
As Matt said today in team time, a lot of Jesus' ministry happened along the way, it was while he was headed somewhere that he would stop and relate, heal, or encourage someone in need of Him.
So yes, I still want to be down in the camp every day, but the Lord wants to do more and iron out a few more things before that happens. And he has renewed my perspective and given me his: to see every person as his beloved and to be in his presence constantly in whatever place I'm in with whoever I'm with.
Thank you, God, for your perspective of love.
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Posted in General Posts on 7/14/2011
I love this place called Kenya. I love the simplicity and slow pace of life here. I love the relational culture that values people over time. I love the cooking and cleaning and walking together. I love the market and fresh food. I love how beautiful it is here.
I love the people. I love their beauty and their softness and sometimes blunt remarks. I love their hospitality. I love their character and their resolve and their faith in God.
We have been here four days now, and it has been incredible to enjoy life here again. It feels like a second home almost. Our team has been settling in the past few days after four days of traveling. We have been meeting with different people, including the pastor of AIC church, the local pastor. We have been working out some logistical things and plan to visit the camp with the pastor soon.
Please continue to pray for us as we adjust to life here and seek God's wisdom and direction on the next steps forward. I can't wait to tell of all God has already been doing here! Thanks for your prayers!
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